


A Proposal

by bangyababy, LadyAngelique



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - The Proposal Fusion, Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Artist Steve Rogers, Bottom Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Closeted Character, Coming Out, Crossdressing, Drag Queens, Drama & Romance, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Family Drama, Family Issues, Feminization, Gender Issues, Getting Back Together, M/M, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Rich Bucky Barnes, Self-Acceptance, Steve Rogers Feels, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Top Bucky Barnes, but not in a kinky way, drag queen steve rogers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-23
Updated: 2019-06-23
Packaged: 2020-05-18 14:02:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19335988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bangyababy/pseuds/bangyababy, https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyAngelique/pseuds/LadyAngelique
Summary: Bucky Barnes is the heir to a Fortune 500 company, but so is his cousin Henry. In order to ensure the board chooses him over Henry (who would sell the family company), he needs to prove to that he's a serious and stable candidate, ready to settle down. So, he decides to bring home his long-term girlfriend to meet his family on his Grandma Mary's 90th birthday weekend. There are just two problems: he doesn't have a long term girlfriend and he's gay.Enter Steve Rogers, Drag Queen and Bucky's ex-boyfriend, who's willing to help--for a price.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the 2019 Captain America Reverse Big Bang.  
> My lovely artist for this was the very talented LadyAngelique!  
> Huge shout out to NachoDiablo for beta-ing and the amazing feedback! This story wouldn't be half as good without them.  
> And a big thanks to the mods for being so understanding with me! 
> 
> CW: Please note that this story features Steve posing as a girl (not drag). If that's something that could make you uncomfortable, please click the back button!

Natasha was sitting on Bucky’s couch, phone in hand when he asked her. “Absolutely not,” she said without looking up from her phone.

“C’mon,” Bucky whined, laying his head on her shoulder, and looking up at her with puppy dog eyes. “It’ll be fun.”

“No, it won’t.” She shrugged her shoulder, knocking his head off. Bucky narrowed his eyes at her and crossed his arms over his chest. How she could be so callous at a time like this, he would never know.

Natasha continued to scroll through her phone as she said, “Don’t glare at me, it’s unbecoming.”

Bucky stuck his tongue out at her and she kicked his shin with her heel.

“You’re a child.”

“And you’re a bad friend.”

At that, she did look up. “I’m a bad friend because I won’t pretend to be your girlfriend so that you can avoid your family trying to hook you up with another air-headed heiress because you refuse to tell them that you’re gay because I already have a boyfriend? Whom, by the way, your family has met. Several times.”

“Well, when you put it like that,” Bucky grumbled, re-crossing his arms and looking away. “But it’s more than that and you know it. Please, Nat, I’m desperate.”

“Can’t you ask anyone else?”

“Not anyone that would be discreet about it, no.”

Natasha was well aware of the kind of company he kept. He wasn’t exactly what anyone would call a playboy, but he had his fair share of dates. And that’s usually all it was—dates. He let his mother, his sister, his secretary at work and a number of people set him up on well-intended dates hoping he would finally find The One. They were usually pleasant enough and sometimes he even called them back, but it never lasted longer than a month.

He knew there were plenty of women that would have jumped at the chance to play pretend with him for a weekend, but none of them would understand that it was _just_ pretend. Some of them saw him as the one that got away, others just saw dollar signs and he wouldn’t put it past them to try and insert themselves into his family’s will over the course of a weekend. He couldn’t trust any of them.  

Natasha sighed and turned towards him. “James.”

He scrunched his nose at her. “Natalia.”

“You know who could probably help with all of this?”

“Who?”

She held up her phone that was opened to an Instagram page. Bucky had barely glanced at the handle ‘Stevie Sweetie’ when he started shaking his head. “No, absolutely not.”

“What?”

“Nat, for one thing, Steve and I didn’t exactly part on the best of terms, and for another, I need someone to pretend to be my _girlfriend_.”

“And he could do that. He already knows you well enough, he would certainly be discreet, and he’s comfortable with femme presenting looks, not just drag, so what’s the problem?” Natasha shrugged.

“Oh, there’s like a thousand, but I’ll start with the most obvious of he probably hates me?”

“He doesn’t hate you, Bucky,” Natasha said quietly, and he had to look away from the softness of her face. “Obviously he was hurt by the whole situation, but I promise he doesn’t hate you.

“But why would he agree to help me?”

“Everyone has a price.”

“Not Steve,” Bucky grumbled but wasn’t exactly bitter about it. Steve’s extraordinary and often times excessive sense of integrity was something Bucky loved about him.

Natasha gave him a long look and said, “It’s 20K.”

Bucky blanched. “He needs _twenty thousand dollars_?”

“It’s not like you can’t afford it.” She rolled her eyes and turned away.

Bucky had always known that money was a little tight for Steve, but as far as Bucky knew he made okay money selling his art and with his drag performances. Steve had almost never let Bucky pay for him, always insisting that they split the bill. The only time Bucky got away with treating him was when he showed up with food unannounced, and even then Steve would glare at him ruefully. Steve was a pridefully stubborn little shit intent on showing Bucky that he didn’t care about his money, and Bucky just wanted to be able to take care of Steve in any way that he could. He couldn’t do much with having to keep their relationship a secret, but buying Steve nice presents or treating him to good food was something he _could_ do. Unfortunately, Steve didn’t exactly see it that way.  

Still, if Bucky had known how much Steve had needed the money he would have found some way to get it to him. Though that probably _would_ have made Steve hate him. Not that it really mattered now, seeing as they hadn’t even seen each other in over a year.

“What’s he need money for?”

“What an insensitive question. Go ask him yourself, he has a show tonight at 9, and I just so happen to have tickets.”

“Of course you do,” Bucky snorted. “Did you plan this? How did you even know I was going to ask you?”

“Sharon called me.”

Bucky huffed. “Well, it’s a good thing Sharon said no, seeing as she can’t keep her mouth shut about anything.”

“You really should have known better than to ask her first.”

Bucky knew she was right but he still scowled at her before taking out his own phone and opening up Steve’s Instagram page. He recognized some of the people in the photos, but there were a lot of new faces, too. Steve looked as good as ever. Better even. It would be nice to at least see Steve again.

“So, where is this show?”

—

Steve had just taken his wig off when there was a knock on the open dressing room door. Steve looked up in the mirror and saw the unfairly handsome figure of Bucky Barnes leaning against the doorway his arms crossed over his chest, and a small smirk playing on his lips. And he was looking right at Steve.

“Bucky,” Steve threw over his shoulder. “What are you doing here?”

“I came to see you. Thought we could talk a bit.”

“Why?” Steve asked. Bucky’s face instantly crumpled, and Steve felt a pang of guilt. Annoyed with himself, Steve huffed out, “Are you hungry?”

“Yes,” Bucky said too quickly. “Uhm, yeah, I could eat. Anything in mind?”

“Diner up the block?”

“Perfect.”

“Fine, meet me outside, I’ve got to get changed.” Steve turned, effectively dismissing Bucky without a word.

Steve sank down into the chair in front of the vanity when Bucky had disappeared from view. He allowed himself one steadying breath and sat back up to look at himself scornfully in the mirror as he began taking his make-up off.

He had thought that he was over Bucky. He hadn’t seen him in at least a year after they had gone their separate ways. They hadn’t even been together long, just around six months, but fuck if Bucky hadn’t left a mark on Steve.

Despite the short amount of time they had been together, and how unorthodox it was, it was still probably the best relationship Steve had had. Which Steve had to admit was pretty pathetic. Only he would find the perfect guy, smart, funny, athletic, _great_ in bed, caring, a little bit of a nerd, and just as stubborn as Steve was. The only problem was that he was still in the closet.

They had tried hard to make it work, damn hard, Steve thought, but Steve couldn’t live his life in the shadow of Bucky’s, no matter how much he had loved him. And he _did._ He had fallen for Bucky hard and fast, and it was all-consuming.

Destructive, if you asked some people.

Steve could see where that came from and looking back on it now, agreed with it to some degree. Being closed up with each other like that, never being able to go out and do normal couple things, having to lie to everyone he met about his boyfriend, all of that wore him down. It made him anxious and snappish and eventually it became clear that it wasn’t working. Bucky had broken it off, saying that if they stayed together any longer, they’d end up hating each other.

Steve had shouted that he already did and slammed the door in his face. He kept hoping that Bucky would call or come back to say how sorry he was; that he’d made a mistake and was ready to come out to his family and the world for Steve.

But he never did, and as much as Steve tried not to take it personally, part of him would always be bitter that he wasn’t enough to fight for.

Now here was Bucky, looking like he’d just stepped out of men’s Vogue with that dumb smirk on his face like he hadn’t broken Steve’s heart, and Steve was just as weak-kneed as he had been the first time he had laid eyes on him. The arrogant bastard.

He finished cleaning up his station, washed his face, and changed into his street clothes, then went out to meet Bucky.

He found him waiting in the booth closest to the exit. “Ready?” Steve asked without bothering to wait for him.

The walk to the diner was just as awkward as Steve expected it to be. They didn’t talk much, except for Bucky saying that he hoped the diner still had the best pancakes in all of  New York, and Steve reassuring him that everyone said they were.

When they entered the diner it was half full. The hostess seated them near the back, which suited Steve just fine. They were quiet as they looked over the menu. Even though Steve knew he was going to get the chocolate chip waffles with bacon, he still pretended to look at the menu in order to avoid looking at Bucky.

After the waitress took their order (blueberry pancakes for Bucky), they made small talk, simple _how are you’s, how’s life, fine, glad to hear it._

Finally, Steve couldn’t stand it any longer. “So,” he began. He waited for Bucky to speak, but Bucky just stared at him with those helpless steel blue eyes. “I doubt this is just a catch-up, Buck, so why are you really here?”

Bucky looked pained. It moved something buried deep in Steve’s chest, but he stomped it down. “I kind of need your help.”

Steve sighed. Of course. “With what?”

“Trust me, I know how crazy this is gonna sound, but it’s my grandmother’s 90th birthday this weekend and I need to bring a date.” Bucky took a breath and continued. “Specifically, I need to bring my girlfriend, my long term girlfriend that I am very serious about.”

“Okay…?” What did any of this have to do with Steve?

“The problem is she doesn’t exist, and there is really no other way to say this, but I need you to pretend to be that girlfriend.”

Steve looked around the room, waiting for the camera crew or his friends to jump out and tell him it was just a prank. But none came so he leaned across the table and hissed, “Is this your idea of a joke, Barnes?”

“Steve no,” Bucky pleaded. “Look, I know, I know, but the thing is next week the board is having a meeting to see who will officially take over the company once my dad steps down. My cousin Henry and I are the ones that are being nominated. But Henry wants to sell the company, and some of the board are leaning towards Henry because they don’t think I’m serious enough. They figure if I’m not going to be reliable, we might as well sell and I just can’t let that happen. So I need to show them that I am serious and that I can be trusted with this. If I bring home a girl they think I intend to marry then they’re more likely to vote in my favor.”

“Okay, there are so many things wrong with this,” Steve said, rubbing his temples.

“I know.”

“First, you’re going through all this to take over a company you don’t even really want?”

“Can we please not fight about this again?”

Bucky had only ever admitted it directly once, but towards the end of their relationship, it became a huge point of contention. Steve wanted Bucky to stop blindly following the path the family had carved out for him, and do something he actually enjoyed. Bucky had argued back that it wasn’t just about him; he had responsibilities. The fight never ended well for either of them.

“I mean, you are the one that asking for this huge favor and you don’t want to talk about your reasons? Which are a huge factor in why we broke up, but sure fine, we won’t argue about it.” Steve threw his hands up in frustration.

“I just don’t think there’s anything to be said that hasn’t already.”

“Whatever. So, then why are you asking me? Why not like, an actual girl, because I don’t know if you’ve noticed Bucky, but I’m a fucking guy. Kinda the reason why you didn’t bring me home in the first place,” Steve couldn’t help but add bitterly.

Bucky winced, but only said, “I tried that, but no one I know will do it, unsurprisingly. Natasha suggested you and, really it made sense.”

“Well, it doesn’t fucking make sense to me. What if someone found out I wasn’t a girl? Do you have _any_ idea what could happen? To me? To _you_?”

“Steve,” Bucky said looking horrified. “You think I would put you in danger like that? You think I would let anyone lay a fucking finger on you? I would never ask you to do something like that and the fact that you think I would, I just…” Bucky trailed off and took a deep breath to calm himself.

“Alright,” Steve said calmly. “I get it, but you have to see it from my point of view.”

“I do, I promise but really it’s just my family and a few close friends. And it’s not like they’re all raging homophobes or anything, they’re just a little…traditional. Really, all you have to do is spend the long weekend with my family, hold my hand and laugh at my jokes. Nothing untoward, I promise.”

Steve snorted. He definitely had more to say on that topic, but Bucky must have seen he was about to protest because he added quickly, “I’ll give you twenty thousand dollars.”

Steve balked. Twenty thousand to pretend to be his girlfriend for a weekend? “Are you crazy?”

“Maybe a little, but I’m desperate here.” And truly, Bucky did look a little unhinged around the eyes.

“Rich people are fucking wild,” Steve murmured to himself. Bucky shot him a pained look across the table but didn’t say anything.

Steve wanted to say no on principle alone. He really didn’t like the idea of tricking Bucky’s family, and even less the idea of acting as a beard. He understood why Bucky stayed in the closet, but this was still really out there. What did it say about him that he would willfully deceive these people for a payout? What did it say about Bucky what he was willing to pay him to do it?

But he couldn’t deny that he needed the money, and well, there were worse things he could do to get it. Plus, as much as he hated to admit it, he’d always have a weak spot for Bucky Barnes.

“Okay.”

Bucky blinked in surprise. “Really?”

“Yeah, really.” Steve shrugged and looked out the window. “I could use the money.”

“Great! Well not great that you’re hurting for money, but great that you’re willing to help me, I mean. Not that I actually know if you’re hurting for money, I just meant that—”

“Bucky, oh my God,” Steve chuckled.

“Right, sorry.”

Bucky was saved from further rambling by the arrival of their food.

“Alright, if we’re going to do this, I have one other condition.”

Bucky looked pained but just said, “What's that?”

“You have to ask me to be your girlfriend properly.” Steve grinned.

Bucky sighed in visible relief. “Anyone ever tell you that you’re a little shit?”

“Only everyone I’ve ever met.”

Bucky reached across the table, picked up Steve’s hand, and look directly into his eyes. Steve felt pinned to the spot as James asked, “Steve…Sweetheart, will you pretend to be my girlfriend so that I can save my family’s company from shitty cousin Henry?”

Steve put his own hand over Bucky and said in all seriousness, “I thought you’d never ask.”

—

When Bucky got home that night he called Natasha.

“How’d it go with Steve?” she asked.

“It went as well as could be expected,” Bucky replied. “He said yes.”

“Not the proposal he was looking for, probably.” He could hear the smirk in her voice and frowned at the phone.

“That was kind of fucked up, Nat. You know why we broke up.”

“Yeah, I do and I think _that_ was fucked up.”

“Nat, please,” Bucky breathed, pinching the bridge of his nose. The emotions he’d been able to keep under wraps since he first saw Steve standing in the dressing room in just his corset and underwear were bubbling to the surface, and if he wasn’t careful, he was going to start crying.

“I’m sorry,” she said softly. “I know it must have been hard to see him again.”

Bucky nodded even though she couldn’t see it. “Yeah.”

“I told you he didn’t hate you, though.”

“Damn near it,” Bucky muttered.

“Can you blame him?”

Bucky threw himself on his bed and breathed, “No.”

“Bucky.”

“I just…I know it’s been a year but I still wonder all the time if I did the right thing by ending it with him, Nat. Like seeing him again just reminded me of everything we used to have and now I’m asking him to pretend to be my girlfriend when I couldn’t even admit to being his boyfriend in the first place? I am the worlds biggest asshole.”

“I wouldn’t exactly call you the biggest asshole, and to be fair this was kind of my idea.”

“Yeah, but I should be able to- to- fuck,” Bucky grunted, unable to get the words out through his tightened throat. He swiped at the tears stinging his eyes and tried to compose himself as Natasha spoke.

“You know that I love you, right?”

“Yeah,” Bucky sighed into the phone.

“Then know that I say this out of love, but get the fuck over it Bucky. You’ve got three options: One, have Steve pretend to be your girlfriend even though you two clearly have some shit to work out, or two, take your chances at the board meeting.”

There was a pause so Bucky prompted, “What’s the third option?”

“Tell your family you want to go to culinary school, that you’re gay, and in love with Steve.”

“I’m not in love with Steve.”

“Yeah sure, whatever.”

“Natasha!”

“Those are your options, James,” she said with finality. “Think about it.”

She hung up without another word and Bucky tossed his phone next to him. He knew Natasha was right. Those were his options and none of them were optimal.

He wished he could just tell his family the truth, that he didn’t want the company. Then it probably wouldn’t have mattered to them as much that he was gay. His grandmother had sacrificed so much for the company and their family. She had put her soul into it and Bucky would be damned if he brought that down by embroiling the company in a scandal. He had seen too many times before what going against the grain meant for people like him.

His family had given him everything, and he owed them at least this.


	2. Chapter 2

“You did  _ what _ ?” Sam asked. 

Steve sighed as he stood, picking their plates up and heading for the sink. 

“I agreed to be Bucky’s girlfriend for the long weekend and you can’t tell anyone.” 

“Okay, there are so many things wrong with that. I’m not really sure where to begin.” Steve didn’t need to turn around to know that look Sam was giving him. “But, I’ll start with the fact that you’re not a girl.” 

“Yeah, but I am a queen, and I do dress femme on occasion.”

“Yes, and you’ve always been adamant that you identify as male and that clothes aren’t gendered.” 

“I do and they aren’t,” Steve agreed with a nod. “I wear dresses because I like them.” 

“Yeah, I know, but you don’t say you’re a woman when you do it.”

“Fair, and I get that ethically speaking this is all extremely murky.” 

Behind him, Sam snorted. “What? Did your exhaustingly rigid moral compass finally break?” 

Steve finished rinsing the plates and turned back around to face Sam, arms crossed over his chest. “Very funny. But it’s Bucky and I…I need the money.” 

“Steve,” Sam started but Steve waved him off. 

“We both know I do,” Steve cut in. They’d had some variant of this conversation a hundred times. “I’ve got bills on bills and he’s got stacks on stacks,” Steve joked, Sam laughed, but it was weak. 

“You’re not gonna…?” Sam trailed off and gave Steve a significant look. 

“Gonna what?”

“I don’t know, like isn’t this going to be really hard for you? Seeing as you two used to be…”

“Fucking?”

“I was gonna say madly in love, but yeah, that too.” 

“It’ll be fine,” Steve lied. “I’m really over it.”

Sam scrubbed a hand down his face but didn’t push. “How do you know this is safe?” 

Steve sighed and went back to sit at the table across from Sam. “I mean, that is why I told you I was doing it. I’m not an idiot. Besides, what’s the worst that could happen?”

“Have you seen Get Out?”

“How would that work, Sam? I’m white.”

“Man, I don’t know! Rich white people are crazy as hell, as is evidenced by this conversation we are having. He could tie you up and keep you in some secret sex dungeon or something.”

“Now that I would do for free.”

“Steve!”

“Look, he told me his reasons and they’re solid. Yeah, there are easier ways he could go about this, but he asked for my help, and I know it’s stupid but,” Steve took a steadying breath. “I couldn’t tell him no.” 

Sam still looked uneasy. “I don’t know. Just seems a little out there, especially given your history.”

“Oh, it definitely is,” Steve said standing up and heading back to the sink to start on the dishes properly. “But like I said, he’s got the cash so I got that ass, so.”

Sam groaned. “That was awful, and if he murders you I won’t even be surprised.” 

Steve shot him a grin over his shoulder. 

Sam exhaled loudly and the creak of the chair as he sat back. “You sure about this? What’re you gonna do when one of y’all falls in love for real?”

Steve scoffed. “What are you talking about?”

“I’ve seen this movie,” Sam insisted. “And I’ve read the book. One of y’all is gonna want to get back together. Then what?”

“And then nothing Sam, because it didn’t work out the first time for a reason.” 

“Right.” Sam didn’t sound convinced. Frankly, neither was Steve. 

—

The Barnes family owned several homes, but Steve learned that all gatherings were always held at Bucky’s grandmother’s home upstate. The drive up was companionable, the conversation with Bucky was easy and the silences were comfortable. 

They pulled onto a small road with a sign that proclaimed it the entrance to “Barnes Apple Farm” and suddenly the enormity of what they were about to do hit Steve. He was going to get out of this car and have to meet all of Bucky’s family, and pretend to be his girlfriend for the next three days. There were so many ways this could go wrong. 

What if they didn’t believe Bucky and he were really a couple? What if he forgot something important about Bucky? He was allergic to shrimp; what if Steve accidentally made him eat shrimp cocktail? Or what if he couldn’t remember the first song they danced to? This was an awful idea and it was never going to work, and Bucky was going to be outed and disowned and it was going to be all Steve’s fault. 

Bucky, who had been in the middle of explaining something about the apple orchard, seemed to sense Steve was panicking because he stopped talking and reached over to grab Steve’s hand. 

“Hey,” he said softly. “It’s gonna be fine, I promise.” 

“They’re never going to believe it. They’re going to know this is all fake, and you’re going to—”

“They’re not, I promise. So calm down, okay?”

“I just don’t want you outed because of me,” Steve insisted quietly. 

Bucky looked over at him, startled. “I—Thank you. But you don’t need to worry about that. If I’m outed, that’s on me.” 

“But—” Steve tried again, but Bucky just squeezed his hand and then let them both drop to rest in Steve’s lap. Steve tried not to think about how natural that felt. 

The rest of the drive up to the house was quiet, and only a little tense. When they pulled up, there were already several cars parked in front of the house. Steve was surprised to see that for how big the house was, it wasn’t at all ostentatious. In fact, it looked like any other farmhouse, with maybe a fresh coat of paint. 

“My grandmother never did have a taste for the flashy things,” Bucky explained, clearly seeing Steve’s surprise. “Though she’d never turn down an expensive port.” 

“I like it,” Steve said firmly. “It’s cheerful.” 

Bucky gave him a grin so wide Steve’s heart expanded with the size of it. “Me, too.” 

They looked at each other for a long moment before there was a slamming of a door and a dog barking. Bucky sighed. “They know we’re here. You ready?” 

Steve was tempted to look at himself in the mirror one more time but knew that if he did he’d just want to re-do his entire face. 

“I look all right?” he asked instead, smoothing out his sundress, resisting the urge to play with his hair. He had only just gotten his pixie cut to fall the right way before they left.  

“Better than all right,” Bucky confirmed. “You look amazing.” 

Steve blushed and opened his mouth to argue but then, a woman appeared on the porch, a Jack Russel sat at her heels. 

“Showtime,” Bucky whispered before he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Steve’s heated cheek. 

Bucky opened the door to the car and made to jog around to open Steve’s but Steve started opening it before Bucky got to him. When the door opened he heard the woman shout, “James Barnes, you open that door for the young lady!” 

“Yes, Aunt Mildred.” Ah, so that was Aunt Mildred. 

“Where are your manners?” 

Bucky rolled his eyes so only Steve could see and offered a hand to Steve to help him out of the car. Steve stifled a laugh before he allowed himself to be “helped” from the car. 

“See, she doesn’t even know what to do know that you’re treating her with a modicum of dignity! If you had gone to that boarding school like I suggested maybe you’d know a thing or two about how to treat a woman.” The dog yipped its agreement. 

“It’s all right,” Steve called to her. “I like to feel independent every once in a while.” 

“Well!” Aunt Mildred exclaimed and Bucky chuckled in his hand but covered it with a cough. “James, get the bags at the very least!” 

“Of course, Aunt Mildred!” 

Aunt Mildred shook her head and turned back to the house, the dog trotting right behind her. 

“So, that was Aunt Mildred,” Bucky said. 

“Charming,” Steve chuckled. 

“She’s a little old fashioned.”

“You don’t say?” 

“I thought she was going to have a heart attack when you said you like to feel independent,” Bucky said as he moved to the trunk of the car. 

Guilt instantly rushed through Steve. He’d never been one to hold his tongue, and he wasn’t sure he could start now but he didn’t want to cause problems for Bucky. “Oh. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend her or anything.” 

“Are you kidding?” Bucky asked, opening the trunk and pulling out their bags. “It was hilarious. She’s not my favorite aunt.” 

“I wonder why,” Steve muttered as Bucky closed the trunk.

They made their way up to the porch. Bucky paused before he opened the door. “Ready?”

“Are you?” 

Bucky quirked his mouth to the side in an imitation of a grin. “Guess we’ll find out.” 

The door opened and there was more barking before a chorus of greetings rang out from different parts of the house. 

“Buck?” A woman called. “Bucky, is that you?”

“My mom,” Bucky said to Steve and the shouted, “Yeah, Ma, it’s me!” 

“James Buchanan don’t you holler in this house!” Steve recognized that voice as Aunt Mildred. 

A woman with brown hair the same color as Bucky’s appeared, holding a glass of rose. She was taller than Steve and had a kind face that reminded him of his own mother. 

“Ma,” Bucky said when she pulled him into a hug. “It’s barely four.” 

“It’s a holiday,” she said smartly, then set her glass down on a nearby mail table before turning to Steve. “And you must be Stevie.”

“Yes,” Steve said, holding out his hand. “It’s so lovely to meet you, Mrs. Barnes, I’ve heard such great things about you.” 

“Winnie, please,” she said taking Steve’s hand and then glaring up at her son. “Well, I can’t say I’ve heard much about you, but I am delighted to meet you and to get to know you. Bucky must really like you if he’s willing to subject you to all this.” 

“Ma,” Bucky pleaded, but she ignored him. 

Instead, she picked up her wine and pulled Steve a little closer. “Bucky, why don’t you take your bags to your room? I assume you two will be staying together, so don’t try and pretend like you won’t. Stevie and I will be in the kitchen.” 

Winnie turned and headed back the way she came, Steve trailing along after her. Steve whipped his head around to give Bucky a panicked looked and Bucky mouthed something that looked like “quick” before bolting up the stairs, their bags in his hands. 

Steve turned back to the front and could only pray Bucky would be. 

—

Bucky all but tossed his and Steve’s luggage into his room. Seeing as he was one of the only grandchildren that visited his grandmother regularly, he was the only one with a permanent room. He took the stairs back down two at a time, and heard Aunt Mildred shout for him to quiet down that racket, but he ignored her and headed straight for the kitchen. 

He paused outside the entrance way to make it look like he hadn’t been running but still when he walked in his mother fixed him with a knowing look. “That was quick,” was all she said.

Steve was sitting next to Becca at the kitchen island, taking a sip out of his own wine glass while Becca showed her something on her phone. All things considered, being left alone with his mom and his sister were probably the best and worst thing that could happen to Steve.

Steve turned and gave Bucky a small smile, and thankfully he only looked slightly overwhelmed. Unsurprising, as Becca had that effect on people. 

“So, how did you two meet?” Becca asked, watching Bucky with an unreadable look her face.

“Oh, me and Stevie have known each other for a while. Natasha introduced us.” Bucky admitted. “We, uh, actually dated for a bit about a year ago and recently reconnected.” 

Steve had been the one to suggest that they keep as much to the truth as possible, so as to keep their story straight and as painful as it was to acknowledge their past, Bucky had to agree. 

There was a long silence before his mom asked, “So, Stevie, what do you do?” 

“I’m an artist, or at least I’m trying to be,” Steve admittedly shyly. 

“Stevie’s amazing,” Bucky cut in. “Really incredible.” 

Steve ducked his head and Bucky could see a blush forming on his cheeks. “I do okay for myself.” 

“Oh? I’m sorry to say that I’m not very on top of the art world these days, but Bucky has a good eye for these sort of things, so if he says you’re good I’m going to have to believe him and say you’re incredible.” 

Steve picked his head up and looked up at Winnie with a half smile. “You haven’t even seen my work.” 

“Don’t need to,” she said. “I trust my son.” With that, she drained the last of her wine glass. “All right, it’s time to get started on dinner. Becca go get Jake and Jason and tell them to come help. Bucky why don’t you and Stevie take a little rest before you introduce everyone else, hm?” 

“Yeah, Ma, thanks,” Bucky said gratefully. 

“Thanks for the wine,” Steve said hopping off the stool. 

“Plenty more where that came from!” Becca called after him.

—

A little before dinner Steve was ushered into the large family room where he was introduced to the rest of the family that was staying the night. There was Bucky’s father, George, and his brother Martin, and Martin’s twin sons, Jack and Jason. There was also Aunt Mildred who Steve was properly introduced to, and finally, there was Grandma Mary. 

Grandma Mary looked Steve over with a discerning eye before pulling him in for a hug. 

“You are the first person Bucky has ever brought home,” Grandma Mary said. “And I’m glad it happened before I died.”

“Grandma,” Bucky groaned. 

“Well, it’s true, Bucky,” she chided. “I’m 90 years old, I could go at any time.”

There was a cacophony of ‘Mom!’ and ‘Grandma!’ but Grandma Mary just waved them all off. “I’m old now. Thems are the facts. Deal with ‘em.” Steve instantly knew why Bucky loved his grandmother so much. 

Dinner was as calm as a dinner could be with ten people. Jack and Jason kept to themselves and Grandma Mary seemed delegated to keep company with Aunt Mildred. George and Martin talked a lot of business, constantly pulling Bucky into the conversation which left Steve to talk to Becca and Winnie mainly. Steve learned that Becca worked at the company, too, but she hadn’t been full time until recently because she was working on her masters. Sometimes she would shout across the table to tell her dad, uncle, and Bucky her opinion on something while Aunt Mildred glared at her. 

He told Winnie more about his art and she seemed genuinely interested, but had to act fast to avoid showing her any on his work. Bucky thankfully heard what was happening and quickly changed the subject to the apple wine that Winnie was trying to create. 

She was happy to talk about that and Steve was happy to listen. After dinner, everyone moved into the family room and broke off into little groups, Bucky finally getting away from his dad and uncle and sticking next to Steve. As time went on more and more people went to bed, until it was just Steve, Bucky, and his Grandma Mary. 

“Now, why don’t you two go on up to bed?” Grandma Mary asked. “There’s no sense in me going now, seeing as I won’t fall asleep until the wee hours.” 

“That’s okay,” Bucky said, “I can keep you company. Stevie, you can go up to bed, if you like.” 

“You’re just angling to hear a story, aren’t you?” 

Bucky looked adorably guilty. “Maybe.” 

“A story?” Steve asked. 

“I used to tell him these stories when he was little,” Grandma Mary explained. “About the three bears, and all sorts of adventures they had.” 

Steve’s chest warmed at the explanation. Would Bucky ever stop finding ways to make Steve like him?

“Do you mind if I stay to hear one?” Steve asked. 

“Of course not,” Grandma Mary said. “Get a little more comfortable, why don’t you?” Steve and Bucky exchanged glances and scooted a little closer. “You call  _ that _ comfortable?” 

Bucky chuckled a little nervously and looked to Steve for help. Steve opened his arms so that his lap was empty in invitation. Bucky took it and laid down so his head was on Steve’s thigh, a position they had been in a hundred times before, and still felt as normal as if they had done this every day. Steve took a risk, unable to help himself, and carded his fingers through Bucky’s hair. Bucky leaned into the touch and Steve couldn’t help but down at him, at ease. 

“Now, then,” Grandma Mary began. “Once upon a time, there were three bears…”

—

Brunch the next day was a loud and rambunctious affair as other members of the family started to show up. Most of the introductions were informal, usually with a family member looking at Steve and asking, “Who’s that?” and someone else shouting, “Bucky’s girlfriend!” Thankfully there was usually no further interaction after that. 

At around two p.m. Jack and Jason stumbled into the main room with a large farm bell and began ringing it with a fervor. 

“You two stop that right now!” Aunt Mildred shouted over the sounds of the dog barking, but they paid her no mind. 

“Hear ye, hear ye!” one of the twins began. 

The other twin continued, “The time has come to compete in the annual Barnes Bonanza!” 

“Barnes Bonanza?” Steve asked.

“Ah, yeah, I kind of forgot,” Bucky admitted. “It’s just a bunch of games, like tug-o-war and three-legged races, that kind of thing. We don’t have to compete though, don’t worry.” 

“Oh good, Stevie and I can be partners if you don’t want to be,” Becca interrupted. 

“Hey!” Bucky exclaimed. “I never said I didn’t  _ want _ Stevie on my team.” 

“Too late, I’m on Becca’s team,” Steve said, then leaned over to high-five Becca. 

“You’re going down, Bucky Bear,” Becca sang. 

Bucky groaned at the nickname. 

“Bucky Bear?” Steve repeated with a mischievous grin. 

Bucky ended up paired with his cousin Mike, as per usual. Mike was about the same height and stature, so they made a pretty good team. He was just glad he wasn’t paired with Henry. He looked down the yard and saw Henry reluctantly paired off with his sister Kate. 

The first competition was the three-legged egg race and somehow Bucky had forgotten how competitive Steve was until they were standing at the starting line, and Bucky said, “Ready to lose?” 

Steve turned and said with a sickly sweet smile, “I’m going to beat you so bad they’ll have to cover the casket.” 

“Jesus,” Bucky gasped just as the starting bell rang. 

Steve and Becca were off, moving in sync like a well-oiled machine, with Jack and Jason trailing behind them. Bucky didn’t pay any attention to the other teams on the field as he urged Mike along. 

Becca and Stevie won by a landslide with Jack and Jason coming in second and Uncle Tom and Aunt Whitney in third and Bucky and Mike in fourth because Mike had dropped his egg just before the finish line.

“Aw, was that a little hard for you, Bucky Bear?” Steve laughed in his face when it was over. Bucky scowled and muttered darkly under his breath. 

Next was flip cup, which Bucky breezed through, but Steve did just as well. Then there was bobbing for apples. Luckily, only one member of each team competed, and Becca was a pro, so she took over for their team thereby saving Steve from plunging his face into a barrel of water. 

During tug-o-war, they were on opposite sides of the rope and Bucky’s side easily took the victory. Steve came up from the grass spitting mad but tried not to show it. Still Bucky could see the fire in his eyes and couldn’t help but taunt, “A little hard for you, sweetheart?”

Steve leaned in really close and growled, “Barnes, I will chop off every single one of your fingers and shove them down your throat.” 

“Damn,” Becca exclaimed. “That was intense.”

Steve looked a little embarrassed and muttered, “Sorry, I get a little competitive.” 

“Nah, it’s chill. You should’ve see Grandma Mary when she would still compete. We would have to end the competition early because she’d be swearing so much.” Becca laughed.  

The final game was a two-person version of capture the flag. 

“Okay, here are the rules,” Becca explained to the group. “Each person from the top three teams will go head to head. This scarf will be placed on the back of one person,” she held up a bright red scarf, “and the other will have to grab it. You cannot leave the designated area,” she pointed to a circled off section of grass. “The round will a last a minute and a half. If the scarf is captured in that time, that person wins, if not, the other does. You step out of the area, you lose. Any questions?” 

Everyone shook their heads. “Alright, let’s draw names!” 

Becca was going against Jason, Mike against Jack, and of course Steve against Bucky. Becca was able to beat Jason easily, as she made like she was going to hit him between the legs, and when he went to cover himself, she grabbed the scarf, jumping up and down at the victory and did a little dance with Steve. Bucky rolled his eyes at the two, but couldn’t deny that it was cute to watch them celebrate. 

Mike ended up beating Jack by forcing him to step out of the circle. Which left it down to Steve and Bucky. 

“Scared, Stevie?” Bucky asked as he tucked the scarf into the back of his pants. 

Steve laughed and replied, “You wish.”

“Did you guys just quote Harry Potter?” Jack asked. 

Becca rang the bell signaling the start of the round. Bucky was on instant alert, and it was a good thing because Steve was not holding back. Steve lunged and grabbed the best he could and Bucky ducked and dodged and almost fell out of the circle a time or two. Time was running out and Becca called out that there were thirty seconds left when it happened. 

Steve lunged for Bucky but misstepped and fell into the grass. When he didn’t immediately try to get back up, Bucky was by his side in an instant. 

“Stevie?” Bucky asked kneeling down next to him. “Sweetheart what’s wrong.” 

Steve patted frantically at his pockets and Bucky realized he was having an asthma attack. “Fuck!” Bucky looked around panicked, and then saw Steve’s inhaler on the ground. He grabbed it and handed it to Steve who immediately took two puffs and then held up his right hand, holding the red scarf, and a shit-eating grin firmly in place.

“He got it!” Becca screeched. “We won, we won!” 

“Did you just fake an asthma attack to win?” Bucky asked, incredulous. 

“No,” Steve wheezed. “I was really having an asthma attack but you let your guard down so I took a chance.”

“You dumb punk,” Bucky yelled, but he was smiling. “You scared me half to death.”

“Aw, give her a kiss!” Someone called.    
  


“Yeah, she earned it!” 

Bucky looked unsure and Steve raised an eyebrow in challenge. “Well, Barnes?” 

Bucky rolled his eyes, raised Steve off of the ground, and gave him a show-stopping kiss. There were hoots and hollers and Aunt Mildred’s distinct voice saying, “Well, how indecent.” 

When they broke apart Bucky was sure he looked just as dazed as Steve. 

—

Dinner was just as chaotic as brunch had been and after cake and more games, and Steve was more than ready to call it a night when Bucky suggested it. 

“Your family is really nice,” Steve said, as he slid into bed beside Bucky that night. 

“Yeah, they’re pretty great,” Bucky agreed. “And they really like you.” 

“I know it’s not optimal circumstances, but for what it’s worth, I’m glad I got to meet them.”

“I’m really glad you got to meet them, too.” 

They looked at each other for a long time and whatever had been building between them the past two days finally came to a head because Bucky leaned over and kissed Steve on the mouth. 

“Tell me you want this,” he breathed. 

“I want it,” Steve said, sliding a hand into Bucky’s hair. 

Bucky dove back in, kissing Steve deeply as Steve pulled him closer. Bucky settled between Steve’s thighs, and Steve could feel the beginnings of an erection pressing against his own interested dick. Steve canted his hips upward, eager to bring them both to full hardness and increase the friction between them. Bucky moaned into his mouth and Steve shivered at the sound. 

When they broke apart for air, Bucky tugged at Steve’s shirt. “Too many clothes,” he complained. 

“I’m literally wearing one more item of clothing than you,” Steve chuckled. 

“Well, it’s still too many,” Bucky replied, leaning down to pepper Steve’s skin with kisses once his shirt was disposed of. 

Bucky kissed his way down Steve’s torso and each little kiss felt like a brand seeping into Steve’s skin. When he got to the waistband of Steve’s sleep pants, his eyes flicked up, piercing even in the dim light, and Steve nodded at the question he saw there. 

The pants came down slowly, and Bucky continued his assault on Steve’s body with his lips. When he had fully divested Steve of his clothes, he stood up and shucked his own. 

“One sec,” he said walking around to open the bedside table drawer and pull out a bottle of lube. Steve took the moment to admire the length of him before he settled right back between Steve’s thighs. 

Bucky flicked the cap open and poured some of the lube into his hand before grasping his own dick. Steve tracked the movement and wet his lips at the sight. He reached down and pushed Bucky’s hand out of the way, holding it firmly before he began to jack it. 

“Steve,” Bucky exhaled. 

“I want this in me,” Steve said and Bucky’s dick jumped in his hand. “Please.”

Bucky groaned and bent down to give Steve a sloppy kiss. “You’re gonna kill me, sweetheart.”

“C’mon, baby,” Steve urged him. “I wanna remember what it feels like to have this big cock inside of me.”

“Fuck,” Bucky hissed. “I don’t have condoms.”

“I do,” Steve said, and when Bucky gave him a look, he elaborated. “I always keep some in my make up bag.”

“That’s smart.” 

“So are you gonna fuck me?” 

Bucky was up and off the bed before Steve could blink. “Where in the make up bag?”

Steve laughed and picked up the discarded bottle of lube. “Front pocket.” He coated his fingers liberally, before clicking the cap closed. He reached between his legs and pressed his pointer finger in with ease, shuttering at the intrusion. 

Bucky came back into the bedroom, the “I got ‘em,” dying on his lips when he caught sight of Steve fucking himself open. 

“ _ Jesus, _ ” Bucky breathed, moving closer. 

Steve pressed in a second finger and watched as Bucky fell to his knees at the end of the bed. “You like that?” 

“I could watch this all day,” Bucky said without looking up. “Fuck you look so good, I just—”

Without warning Bucky reached up and grabbed Steve by the calves, pulling him closer to the edge of the bed. Steve squeaked in surprise that quickly turned into a guttural moan when he felt Bucky’s tongue lapping at his rim next to his fingers. 

“Fuck,” Steve half shouted. 

Bucky picked up his head and murmured, “Shh, you gotta be quiet sweetheart, can you do that for me?” Steve nodded and Bucky placed a soft kiss to the inside of his thigh. “Keep opening yourself up for me, baby.” 

Steve continued to work himself open as Bucky licked and sucked around his hole, occasionally slipping his tongue inside. Finally, when Steve was loose and shaking with want, he pulled his fingers away with a whimper. 

Bucky pulled back as well and looked up at him in concern. “Are you okay?”

“Please, Bucky,  _ please _ , I’m ready.” 

Bucky stood up and picked up the condom packet. “Scoot up,” he instructed. Steve shifted himself up on the bed, and then reached behind him to grab a pillow, cursing himself for not doing that earlier. He placed the pillow under his hips and watched as Bucky finished rolling the condom on.

Bucky climbed out on the bed and covered Steve’s body with his own. Steve felt the world turn when Bucky’s dick met his and he let out an involuntary groan. Bucky’s cock was hot and solid against his own and when he moved, Steve felt it in his  _ toes. _

“Ready?” Bucky whispered into his neck. 

“ _ Yes _ ,” Steve hissed and felt more than heard Bucky chuckle. He wrapped his legs around Bucky’s hips and then Bucky was pushing into him and all he could think was  _ yes, yes, yes, _ and  _ more, more, more _ . Bucky’s thrusts were long and steady and after the work up Steve had had, a torturous kind of bliss that brought tears to his eyes. 

As Bucky fucked into him, he whispered a refrain of praise and filthy sentiments alike. Each brush of a word against the shell of Steve’s ear sent him spiraling down into a new wave of pleasure. 

“I’m gonna come,” Steve all but sobbed when Bucky pressed into his spot. 

“So, come sweetheart,” Bucky encouraged, reaching between them to jerk Steve’s dick. “Go on and make a mess of us.” 

Bucky had barely completed a stroke before Steve was coming between them, biting at Bucky’s shoulder to keep from shouting and Bucky wasn’t far behind. When Bucky came in him, Steve felt like he might just keep coming himself, and finally, the rush of his orgasm subsided and he was able to catch his breath.

Steve reached up and ran his hand through Bucky’s hair, as he rested in the crook of Steve’s neck, his hot breath tickling Steve’s skin. Eventually, their breathing returned to normal. Bucky slowly pulled out and Steve tried not to cry out at the loss. 

“Stay there,” he told Steve, getting off the bed. Not that Steve was planning on getting up anytime soon even if he wanted to. Steve heard the sound of gurgling and the water running before Bucky came back holding a wet cloth. Gently, he ran the cloth across Steve’s skin before tossing it to the side and getting back on the bed. 

Steve moved over and Bucky pulled down the covers so they could both get underneath. Once they were both tucked in, Bucky tugged Steve close and Steve let him. 

“So was it good?” 

Steve snorted. “What do you think?”

“I was just making sure.” 

Steve leaned up and kissed him on the mouth. “It was great, Buck.”

—

Steve was awakened by butterfly kisses to his shoulder, and he smiled at the familiar feeling. 

“Hey, sweetheart,” Bucky said when Steve opened his eyes. “Wanna come down for breakfast?” 

Steve stretched and nodded, noticing that Bucky was kneeling next to the bed and wearing clothes. “How long you been up?”

“Long enough to make breakfast.” 

Steve laughed and couldn’t resist pulling him in for a light kiss. “Give me like 20 minutes. I gotta shower and put my face on.” 

Bucky’s fond expression faltered for just a moment, a frown marring his features. But then he was leaning in and kissing him again. “Come down whenever you’re ready.” 

Steve watched him leave and wondered why Bucky had looked so strange for a moment. Maybe Steve shouldn’t have kissed him? But that didn’t make sense because Bucky had kissed him, too. Steve cursed himself as he got out of bed. He knew sleeping together was obviously going to complicate things, but he’d hoped to least enjoy the moment. 

He couldn’t say he regretted it, though. Sex with Bucky had always been fantastic and last night had been no different. Maybe Steve could finally get the closure that he needed. He took a quick shower and got himself ready in record speed, getting downstairs just after Winnie. 

“Oh, you look nice,” Winnie said. “I envy people that can get themselves together before they eat.” 

“It’s a learned skill,” Steve joked. “I learned from my mom that if I wasn’t ready before the food, I wasn’t getting any.” 

Winnie laughed. “She sounds like someone I could learn a thing or two from.” 

“She was great,” Steve agreed, and Winnie’s face fell, no doubt at the use of the past tense. 

Before anyone could say anything else, Bucky proclaimed, “I’ve got waffles or I’ve got pancakes. Which do you want, Stevie?”

“Waffles,” Steve and Bucky said at the same time and Bucky shook his head. “I don’t even know why I asked.” 

There were considerably fewer family members in the house during breakfast, so Bucky took charge and cooked for them all. Steve stayed in the kitchen long after he was done eating just to watch him work. By the time everyone was done eating and the dishes were done, it was noon. 

“Well, we’d better start heading back into the city,” Bucky said. “I’ve already packed up, but no rush, Stevie.”

“I’ll go pack now.” 

“Okay, I’ll just go say goodbye to Grandma Mary and everyone.” 

Steve took his time packing and tried to not to think about the long car ride they had ahead of them. He knew they should probably talk about what had happened, but he wanted to wait until they weren’t trapped in a car together. 

When he was done packing and could put it off no longer, he went downstairs and said goodbye to Bucky’s family. Bucky’s mom and dad walked them to the door. 

“It was really nice meeting you, Stevie,” George said. 

“Thank you, you too.” 

Winnie pulled him into a hug. “I’m so glad Bucky met you,” she murmured. “I’ve never seen him look happier.” 

Steve pulled away, startled, but Winnie just kept smiling at him as they walked back to the car. 

  
  
  



	3. Chapter 3

Steve looked up at his building through the window and then turned to Bucky. “Thanks for driving me home.”

“Not a problem,” Bucky said. “Thanks for this weekend, seriously.” 

“Yeah,” Steve replied, unsure what else he  _ could _ say. Bucky hadn’t said anything about them sleeping together, but neither did Steve. 

They looked at each other a moment longer. Steve was unwilling to put an end to their arrangement any sooner than absolutely necessary, and he was fairly sure Bucky felt the same. Something over the past weekend had shifted, and now they were staring at each other over the console like a pair of teenagers. 

“Well,” Steve broke the silence when it was clear Bucky wouldn’t. “If you ever need another fake girlfriend you know where to find me.” 

“Yeah,” Bucky chortled, and Steve sighed before turning to get out of the car. “Oh, your bag!” Bucky hopped out of the car before Steve could stop and went around back to grab Steve’s bag out of the trunk. 

“Thanks,” Steve said, taking the bag when he met him behind the car. Bucky’s hand lingered and when Steve looked up, Bucky was staring down at him with conviction. 

“What if I didn’t want it to be fake?” he whispered. 

“What?” Steve’s breath caught in his chest. 

“You being my girlfriend. Or boyfriend. Or person-friend or whatever, just what if I wanted it to be real?” 

Steve wanted that, God knows he wanted it. Bucky was everything he had ever hoped to find in a person. Funny, charming, a little awkward when he was nervous. He loved his family and tried to do what he thought was the right thing, he tried so hard to never let anyone down. Steve had never felt a connection with someone as deeply as he had with Bucky.

But he wasn’t out. And Steve couldn’t take living in the shadows and hiding. Not even for Bucky. He couldn’t ask Bucky to come out for him, it wouldn’t be fair. They had tried it once and it hadn’t worked. So as much as Steve wanted to say yes, he knew he couldn’t. 

“Bucky,” Steve said softly, reaching up and cupping his cheek. “I would want nothing more than for this to be real, but it won’t work.” 

Bucky’s eyebrows creased together. “Steve, I know that we had our differences before but, this weekend made me realize we should be together. I know you felt that, too.” 

Steve shook his head. “We’re just too different, it’s why this didn’t work in the first place. I’m out and you’re not, but that aside, you’re the heir to a fortune 500 company and I’m a starving artist drag queen.” 

“You don’t have to be,” Bucky said quickly. “I can introduce you to the right people, I can help.”

Steve shook his head. “That’s sweet, but I can get by on my own.”

“But the thing is you don’t have to. I can help you.” 

“I know you can,” Steve said, running his thumb across Bucky’s cheek. “But I can’t live my life in secret, as  _ your _ secret.” 

“I know it would be hard, but Steve, you could do something worthwhile.” 

Steve’s hand dropped. “Worthwhile?” 

Bucky exhaled noisily. “You know what I mean.”

“No, I don’t. Why don’t you explain to me why what I’m doing now isn’t worthwhile?” 

Steve felt the familiar flare of anger as Bucky crossed his arms defensively and fixed Steve was a sardonic look. “You and I both know what I mean. You want to do art and I’ve seen your art, your good, but you gotta take it seriously.”

“Take it seriously?” Steve repeated.

“You spend so much time trying to do other things, and you don’t leave enough time for your art. You’ve got so much to show the world, but you refuse to let them see it! I know it can be scary to put yourself out there, but you have to take the risk.” 

“You know what Bucky? Fuck you. You haven’t changed a goddman bit. And I’ll tell you what else, baby.” Steve took a menacing step forward. “I think it’s  _ real _ funny that a guy like you is trying to me I’m too scared to live my life.”

“A guy like me? You mean one who’s being realistic?”

Steve snorted. “Realistic? What fucking reality are you living in? You think because you’re in the closet and don’t want to tell your family you hate your job you’ve got problems? I  _ wish _ my family’s approval was my only problem. I wish I still  _ had _ a goddamn family. But no, all I have is a worthless job that I don’t fucking hate to pay for the hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of medical bills for the treatments that saved my life. But I’m unrealistic for trying to find some modicum of happiness in the fucking shit show that has been my life up until now?

God, you’re such a goddamn uptight, you’re so fucking scared of what everyone thinks of you, so fucking concerned that someone may not like you that you’ve thrown everything important to you away. You’re just selfish and cowardly enough to ask me to do the same. You wanna live the rest of your life miserable, surrounded by money and people who don’t know anything about you? Fucking go for it, but I’ll be damned if I let you tell me how to live my life.”

“Steve,” Bucky started, wide-eyed and reaching for him, but Steve quickly stepped out of his grasp. 

“Fuck off, Bucky,” Steve spat, then turned on his heel and marched into his building. 

  
  


—

It was after dinner at Bucky’s grandmother’s house a week later. Bucky was in the living room with his mom, dad, and Becca. Grandma Mary had gone to her room earlier, claiming she wanted to lay down. Unable to listen to his family chatter on about whatever was on the news that night, Bucky stood and head up to his room. On the way, he passed Grandma Mary’s bedroom. Her door was open and she called him inside. 

“Sit down.” Bucky glanced at his grandmother but did what she told him. “I think it’s long past time you and I had a little chat.” 

Bucky felt his blood run cold as his grandmother fixed him with her unwavering stare. Oh God, she  _ knew _ . Bucky could feel it, he could read it on her face. He had been so fucking careful, he had tried so hard and for what? His grandma found out anyway and now she was going to disown him and he was going to be ex-communicated from the family. 

“Do you know about your cousin Doreen?” She asked and without waiting for a reply continued on pulling out a framed photo and handing it to Bucky. It was his grandma on her wedding day. “She died long before you were born, but she was always my favorite cousin. We grew up together, always attached at the hip, getting into trouble. Once she convinced me that we could fly if we just got up high enough. So we jumped off the roof and into a hay bale. She broke her arm and I sprained my ankle and we both got the whooping of our lives. She was my maid of honor at my wedding. She was my best friend.”

Grandma Mary looked a little misty-eyed as she stared at the photo. “But then the Korean war came and she had to go. I begged her not to, told her that she could go to Canada or upstate into the mountains. We grew up on the land, she could survive up there until the war blew over, but we both knew there was no way she could live like that.”

Bucky blinked, confused at the turn in the story. “What do you mean?” 

“You see Bucky,” Grandma Mary said, pulling out another photo from the side table and handing it to him. “Doreen was born different.” 

The photo was of a young man in a service uniform. Bucky instantly realized it was the same person that had been standing by his grandmother on her wedding day. 

“You have a word for it now, transgender, I think, but back then we just called it different, if you were being polite about it, anyway. Doreen was known as Daniel until she was 16, and then my aunt took her away and she came back Doreen. And no one looked at her any different. At least not in here, anyway. That is, until the draft. Then she had no choice but to be Daniel again. She was born Daniel and she had to die as Daniel, when all she wanted was to be seen as who she truly was,Doreen. That has always struck me as being particularly cruel.”  

Grandma Mary reached over and took the photograph back, then tucked it in between the other frames on the side table. “Now, Bucky, I know you’ve been keeping something to yourself all these years, and I know why. The world hasn’t been particularly kind to folks that are different. I’ve never seen you so goddamn miserable in my life and I’d bet money it has something to do with that gal you brought home. Is that right?”

Bucky could only nod, his throat suddenly tight, and he knew that if he opened his mouth now, they only thing that would come out was blubbering. Grandma Mary reached over and took his hand in hers. “Darling, if you think we won’t love and accept you because of who you love, well, we obviously haven’t done a very good job of showing you how much we love you, and I’m sorry. But Bucky, I’ve watched you suffer in silence for too long. I’ve watched you walk in your father's footsteps and push down any real ambition you’ve had so as not to disappoint us all, and I’m kicking myself now for letting you do it. But I can’t sit by and watch you give up on this. 

If you’re stopping yourself from being with Stevie because you think we won’t approve, don’t. Life is too damn short to live it for someone else. And if anyone in this family has a problem with you and Stevie they can go straight to hell after they’ve dealt with me.”

He couldn’t hold his tears in any longer. suddenly Bucky was on the floor, clutching at his grandmother's knees as she stroked his hair. He felt like a little boy again, sobbing into her skirts as she hushed him and told him everything was going to be alright. 

“You don’t understand,” Bucky sobbed when he got himself under control. “Grandma Mary, I messed up, I really messed up.”

“Hush now, darling,” she murmured. “I’m sure it can’t be as bad as all that.” 

“But it  _ is, _ ” Buck sniffled, and then he told her the whole sordid tale. 

—

“I have an announcement to make,” Grandma Mary said, marching into the living room. Bucky trailed behind her, puffy eyed and red nosed. Rebecca, George, and Winnie all looked up from what they were doing.

“Buck?” Becca asked but Grandma Mary waved her off. Bucky gave her a watery smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes as he sat down next to Becca. 

“What’s up, Mom?” George asked, eyes darting from her to Bucky. 

Grandma Mary sat down in her chair and fixed them all with her look. “I’ve made a decision about my will.”

A panic suddenly came over George. “Mom?” Grandma Mary held up a hand and George settled back into his chair a little, exchanging glances with his wife. Bucky looked at them for a moment before his gaze turned to his hands. 

“I don’t want Bucky to take over the company.”

“What?”

“In fact, I don’t want Bucky to have anything to do with the company at all.”

“Mom, you can’t be serious!”

“But why?” Winnie pleaded. “I’m sure whatever it is that Bucky has done can’t be that bad. Don’t you want him to be taken care of?” 

Bucky looked up just in time to see Grandma Mary’s gaze turn razor sharp at his mother as she bristled. “Of course I want Bucky to be taken care of, which is precisely  _ why _ I don’t want him to be involved with the company. And if you could all just wait a goddamn minute and let me say my piece, maybe we could get to the bottom of this.”

“But, Mom—”

“George!” 

Bucky’s dad shut his mouth. 

“Now, as I was trying to say: I don’t want Bucky involved in the company because that isn’t what  _ he _ wants. I didn’t build this business from the bottom up so my family could be unhappy, I did it so they would have a better life. Bucky may have never wanted for anything material, but you’d all have to be blinder than a bat or thicker than pig shit not to see that boy ain’t happy.” 

“Well, of course, he’s been down a little lately, but it’s been really busy at work recently.”

She sighed. “George, I know you love what you do, I know you love this company, you always have.”

“Of course.”

“And I know that you’ve always tried to get Bucky to love it just as much as you, but I’ve allowed this to go on for too long. It’s my company still, and I have a say. I don’t want him in it. He doesn’t want it, George, it’s time to accept that.” 

“But Bucky  _ does _ love the company, don’t you, Buck?”

Bucky so wished he could open his mouth and say,  _ Yes _ with the passion and enthusiasm his father wanted from him. He opened his mouth a few times and closed it, looking for the right words to make his father understand that yes, he loved the company, but only because he was proud of what his family had built. It wasn’t where his heart was. 

“Buck?”  

“No,” Bucky said quietly.

“What?”

“No,” Bucky said louder, finally raising his eyes to look at his father. “Dad, I’m proud of the company, I’m proud to be a part of this family and a part of what Grandma Mary and you and everyone else have made, but I  _ don’t _ love working there.”

George’s gaze flitted helplessly between his family. “But the company.”

“Will survive,” Becca cut in for the first time since Grandma Mary had called their little impromptu meeting. “Dad, I’ve had the same experience and schooling as Bucky. I can take over. Besides, everyone on the board likes me better than Henry anyway.”

“Is that what you want?” Bucky asked. He couldn’t let his sister live his unwanted life. It wouldn’t be fair.

“Yeah, I do.” Becca smiled at him. “I’ve always wanted it but I didn’t want to fight you for it, even though I knew you weren’t really into it. I’m sorry, maybe I should have.”

Bucky shook his head. “No, it’s my fault. I should have said something. I shouldn’t have just…let you all make my decisions for me. I didn’t want you to know, so you didn’t, and that’s my fault.”

“Son, you know that I never meant to make you feel, well, like this I suppose. I just wanted what was best for you. I just wanted to be sure you would have the tools and the opportunities to succeed in life.”

Bucky nodded. “I know Dad. And I tried to love it as much as you did, truly, I tried to want it but I just…don’t.”

“So, what do you want to do?” Winnie asked. 

“I want to go to culinary school.”

“ _ Culinary school? _ ” George blanched. “I mean, I know you’ve always seen cooking as something of a hobby, but I guess I never realized how serious about it you were.”

“Well, I am,” Bucky confirmed. “At least, I’d like to try to be.” 

George sat back in his chair, stunned. “What if it doesn’t work out?” he asked in a small voice. “What will you do then?”

“He’ll find something else,” Winnie said firmly. “And we’ll support him in that, too.”

Bucky gave her a grateful smile. “Thanks, Ma.”

“Well, that’s it for my announcement,” Grandma Mary proclaimed. “Does anyone have anything they’d like to share?” 

“I think we should have ice cream,” Becca declared. 

“Excellent idea, Becca,” Grandma Mary said. “Anyone else?” Her gaze flicked to Bucky.

Bucky cleared his throat. “I have something else I want to say.” He took a fortifying breath. “I’m gay.” 

He thought saying the words aloud would make him afraid or anxious, but they only brought relief. His parents’ eyes widened, but Bucky noticed Becca trying to look pointedly away. 

“Bucky,” his mom whispered. “Oh, honey.” She stood up and came to gather him in her arms. “Thank you for telling us.”

Suddenly his dad was there as well, hugging him tightly. “We love you no matter what, Buck, and this doesn’t change a damn thing.” 

“Thank you,” Bucky whispered. “I love you guys, too.” 

“I kinda already knew,” Becca admitted. 

“How?” George asked. “You knew and you didn’t tell us?”

Becca crossed her arms and scowled at him. “It wasn’t for me to tell. And I only kind of figured it out because I recognized Stevie.”

“What?” George asked. 

“Bucky, what is she talking about?” 

“Stevie is actually Steve. Well, sometimes Stevie. He’s a drag queen and I asked him to pretend to be my girlfriend.”

“You did  _ what? _ ” 

“I know it’s stupid, but I just wanted the board to see me starting to settle down so that Henry wouldn’t win the nomination. I thought if I brought Steve home they might think I was more serious.” 

“Oh Buck,” his mom sighed. 

“So you don’t even know him?” George asked. “Is it him? Or her? They? You two seemed so in love, I don’t understand.”

“It’s him, and I do know him. We really were together for a while.” 

“Are you telling me that all this time you could have been with that boy and you haven’t been?” George asked. 

“It was too hard for us to be together when we had to keep it a secret, so we ended things. He was just doing me a favor the other weekend.”

“You could have told us, sooner honey.” 

“Well, what was I supposed the think, Ma?” Bucky snapped in frustration. “You see what happens anytime someone in the public eye comes out. You hear the way Aunt Mildred talks about how it’s unnatural and a sin. I asked you about it once, and do you remember what you said to me? It’s a  _ hard _ life and you felt sorry they had to live that way!” 

Winnie looked startled, but Bucky continued. “I needed you to tell me it was okay, I needed you to show me you’d still love me even if I was like them. All I got was silent tolerance when I needed acceptance.” 

Winnie opened her mouth before seemingly thinking better of it and closing it again. 

“We’re sorry,” George said. “You’re right. We weren’t there for you and we should have been. But we will be from now on, we promise.”

“We love you so much, Bucky,” Winnie said, voice wavering. “And we never want you to feel like you can’t tell us something like this ever again.” She turned to Becca and said, “You either.”

Becca shrugged. “Sexuality is fluid and time isn’t real.” 

“Rebecca Ann,” Grandma Mary sighed. and George rolled his eyes. 

The combination startled a laugh out of Bucky. He suddenly felt a lot lighter. “Thanks for being so understanding.” 

“Of course.” 

“So, what are you going to do about Steve, seeing as you’re in love with him and everything,” Becca prompted. 

“I don’t know. It’s complicated.” 

“It’s not that complicated,” Grandma Mary interjected. 

Bucky looked down at his hands and muttered, “I might have said some things to him that were kinda out of line.”

“Like what?”

“I asked him to go out for real, but he said it wouldn’t work because we’re so different and I was hurt and angry and I basically told him he was being stupid and his job wasn’t serious, so he should just be with me and let me take care of him but live in the closet forever.” His entire family grimaced at the admission, and Bucky continued, “Obviously that didn’t go over well.”

“I suspect not,” Winnie replied taking Bucky’s hand. “But Bucky, I can see that boy is really important to you, and from what I saw of him, you’re important to him, too. And you owe it to yourself and to him to try and make things right.”

“But what if he says no?” Bucky whispered, eyes full of tears for the second time that day.

“Well,” George said. “Then at least you can say you tried.” 

Bucky nodded and then Grandma Mary stood up and clapped her hands together. “Okay, time for ice cream.” 

—

Steve lay on the couch as Sam puttered around him getting ready. “You sure you don’t want to come out tonight, man?” 

“Nah, I’m good,” Steve mumbled into the cushion. He heard Sam sigh, then the couch dipped beside him. 

“Steve, I know you don’t want to hear this, but you gotta move on.”

“Move on from what?” Steve asked bitterly. “From my ex that paid me to be his girlfriend so he could stay in the closet?”

“All the more reason for you to let this go.”

“I wish I could, Sam, really.” 

“I told you I’d seen this movie.”

Steve didn’t have it in him to fight back. “Well, you were right, and here we are.” 

Sam placed a comforting hand on Steve’s ankle. “You really got it bad, huh?”

“Unfortunately,” Steve grumbled.

Sam stood up then, and Steve heard the jangle of keys. “All right man, you stay here and do this. I’ll be back later.” 

“Have fun,” Steve called. 

“I will, thanks. And Steve?”

“Yeah?” 

“You’re gonna be okay.” 

Steve raised his head and quirked his lips up at Sam. “Thanks.”

Sam gave him a sloppy salute and left without another word. 

Steve flopped back down on the couch and started to think about what Sam had said about letting it go. 

It had been two months since that weekend and in those two months as hard as he had tried not to, Steve had thought about Bucky just about every day. To be fair, it was hard to forget the guy since he’d been in the news a lot more frequently. It had been recently announced that he was stepping down from his position at his family’s company, and Becca had been selected to take over. 

Still, he was furious at himself for falling for someone who clearly thought so little of him. Even more infuriating was the fact that he couldn’t get over him. But that didn’t stop Steve from being happy that Bucky had finally found the courage to go after what he wanted. Even if what he wanted wasn’t to come out to the world and marry Steve and adopt four dogs while running a five-star restaurant and Steve got pieces into the MoMA.

He was interrupted from his thoughts by a knock on the door. Steve groaned as he pulled himself up off of the couch. Normally he’d ignore an unexpected knock, but it was Girl Scout cookie season, and Steve deserved some Thin Mints. 

But when he opened the door it wasn’t Girl Scouts he found, but Bucky instead. 

“Please don’t shut the door,” Bucky said quickly when Steve moved to do just that.

“What do you want?” Steve asked icily. 

“To talk. To apologize, if you’ll let me.”

Steve thought about saying no, but an image of Sam’s disappointed face flashed through his mind and he found himself saying, “Fine.” He supposed if anything, talking to Bucky would at least give him some closure. Steve stepped back and waited for Bucky to pass. He shut the door and gestured for Bucky to go further into the apartment. “You can sit.” 

Bucky sat down in a chair next to the couch. Steve sat slightly in between the seat closest to Bucky and the middle, steadfastly looking at the coffee table. 

“I want to apologize,” Bucky said when Steve was settled. “The last time we spoke, I said some things, some hurtful and stupid things and I’m sorry.” 

Steve nodded, but couldn’t bring himself to look up into what he knew would be a pair of earnest steel blue eyes. He wasn’t ready for that yet. “I can’t take back what I said, but I can tell you that I didn’t mean it, not really. What you do, it  _ does _ have meaning. It changes people and touches people just as much as any other art form. I was just so wrapped up in my own shit that I kind of lost sight of what was important. I know that doesn’t make it better, but I was just hurt and a little desperate and I just…I’m just so, so sorry.” 

“Thank you,” Steve said quietly. “I see you stepped down.” 

Out of the corner of his eye, Steve could see Bucky nod. “Yeah, I did. Someone finally knocked some sense into me, so I decided to stop being a coward and tell my family the truth.”

_ The whole truth _ ? Steve wanted to ask, but wasn’t sure if he was ready to hear the response. Instead, he said, “I suppose I said some things I shouldn’t have.” 

“No,” Bucky said fiercely. “Everything you said, it was true. Maybe a little harsher than I would have liked to hear it, but you were right.”

“Just because you’re rich doesn’t mean your problems aren’t valid,” Steve muttered. At that Bucky started to laugh and Steve finally looked up. Bucky was smiling but his eyes were a little rueful. “What?” Steve demanded. 

“You’re just something else,” Bucky said. “You’d fight yourself if you thought you deserved it.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“That you’re a good person, Steve.”

Steve felt heat flood to his face at the honest statement and mumbled a thanks.

“There’s something else I wanted to say to you,” Bucky said seriously. “And I know it’s probably the last thing you want to hear, and if you kick my ass afterward I’ll deserve it but I’ll never forgive myself if I don’t say it.”

“So, say it,” Steve breathed, heart thumping wildly in his chest. 

“I know you said we can’t work, I know we come from really different backgrounds, and I know we tried before. I know all the reasons why we shouldn’t be together, but Steve, I’m fucking crazy about you. I love you. I never stopped loving you.” 

“Really?” 

“Yeah. And I understand that this is  _ a lot _ , and I don’t expect you to feel the same way, but I just had to try.” 

Steve couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Part of him wanted to pinch himself because all his outrageous daydreams from the past two months, no  _ year _ , had suddenly come to life, but even as much as he wanted this to happen, he still wasn’t willing to live as some dirty little secret. 

“Does your family know?”

Bucky nodded.

“That’s good. I’m glad.”

“Thank you.”  

The silence stretched out and it was almost as if he could feel Bucky deflate in the chair next to him and stood up. 

“Thanks for hearing me out,” Bucky said. “I can show myself out.”

“I thought you said you were going to stop being a coward.”

There was a choking noise that sounded like ‘excuse me?’ and Steve looked up at Bucky with a risky grin. “You didn’t even ask me.”

“Ask you  _ what _ ?”

“Properly.”

Bucky’s mouth opened and closed a few times before his brain apparently caught up and he narrowed his eyes at Steve and sat down. “Are you serious?”

“Yup.”

Bucky rolled his eyes, but he was smiling when he sat down and took Steve’s hand in his. “Stevie, sweetheart, would be my real boyfriend so my parents will stop nagging me about moping all the time and also because I’m completely in love with you?” 

Steve smiled and leaned in so his lips ghosted over Bucky’s when he replied, “Bucky baby, I thought you’d never ask.” 

The end. 

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!   
> This fic was a bit of a labor, and like I said it wouldn't be publishable without NachoDiablo, who helped me work through some of the tougher aspects of this fic especially in relation to gender. It's not perfect, but I tried my best. If you wanna talk about it, you can find me on [tumblr](http://bangyababy.tumblr.com).


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